Things I'm Learning During No-Spend January (So Far)

My Mama enabled me on a coffee date

I’m only nine days into the month and already so much more aware of how Money and I interact. That is the point of this type of exercise, isn’t it? To toggle back the speed a little and figure out your financial priorities. I hope you don’t mind a little bit of nerdy soft-core “data.” Almost everyone I know who are running their own households are making efforts to do better with their money. At the same time, prices have rocketed and “doing better with money” feels aspirational at best, and sometimes impossible. Nevertheless, we persist! So far we’ve been 100% successful in avoiding unnecessary purchases, which I find remarkable and exciting.

To state the obvious, we are still spending money this month. But Andrew and I have decided that for the month of January (and potentially beyond) our financial priorities have shifted to “essential purchases only.” Living off of 1.5 modest incomes in a pricy coastal area requires deft handling, or you could quickly go under. So every so often we challenge ourselves to do without. This time, our no-spend challenge means that for a limited time (January), the standard categories of our budget such as “date night” and “fun money” (even categories like clothing/cosmetics) are being reallocated for the purpose of zeroing out any residuals from the holidays, and restocking our savings. We have made it into a fun sort of game, and I’ve been documenting each day of the challenge on Tiktok which is both silly and satisfying. I am far more accountable to my own promises when sharing the results of each day with others.

If you’re somebody who needs to know the rules, this is how we are doing it:

Groceries, gas, mortgage, and other common bills are essential. So are monthly counseling expenses, medical bills, and prescriptions/over-the-counter vitamins/medications. Car repairs/maintenance? Essential. Coffees and meals out are non-essential. Ditto, spending on entertainment. For this month makeup refills, hobby supplies (yarn, seeds, paint, etc.), and replacements for optional things (like my broken hair dryer) are also deemed unnecessary. It’s a time to use up the ends of the several bottles of shampoo in my shower (products I no longer use) instead of re-purchasing my shampoo bar. Gift-cards are like that free space in bingo - as long as we don’t go over the balance, we can use it! It’s also permissible to let someone treat you to coffee or a meal (thanks, Mama). This isn’t a matter of morality of course, it’s just a way to drastically curb spending for a short period of time so that we can save more. It’s also a good chance to notice things about our financial habits.

Let me also reassure everybody reading this who loves us that we are still having fun this month and made this choice out of freedom, not a case of The Grim. There is so much to do that is free and enjoyable, like hanging out with family and friends, attending free events or museums, and utilizing resources like the library for movie night. It’s also a great month to tackle home organization projects, repairs, or put-aside hobbies. To us, the therapeutic feeling of being ahead of our money is a recreational activity and it’s our gift to each other at the opening of a fresh year.

I’m tracking our savings in two ways. First, I’m keeping track of the budget categories we did not tap this month (dates, fun spending, etc.) and any amounts left in other categories. Secondly, I’m tracking purchases we did not make but would usually have. Different from allocated budget slots, these compose the “miscellaneous” category that ends up really killing us. At the end of the month I hope we are able to put the amount represented on the “Things We Didn’t Buy” list into our savings as a treat. I tallied up what we have so far on that list, nine days in (my list - I haven’t even asked if Andrew had anything to add, and I’m sure he does).

You know what I’ve declined spending in the last nine days? $176.53 worth of optional possessions, not including shipping. That’ll tell you something. Most of the items cost roughly $20-$25 and serve a practical purpose, so I probably would have bought nearly all of them without realizing the eventual tally, which is eye-opening. We aren’t talking frivolous purchases like, I don’t know, home decor. This is a list of “actually we could probably use that” items, some of which I know we will buy (like a product to do my own eyebrow-tinting at home). The thing is, we don’t need it this month.

Want to know some things I’ve already noticed during this challenge?

First the good:

1. We are already (in most categories) a low-buy household - I hadn’t realized that till this challenge was less….challenging than it would’ve been a couple years back.

2. In 2024 we only purchased fifty items on Amazon (not including a handful of gifts) and the vast majority of those items were things like shipping materials for Andrew’s side-hustle, printer ink, and prenatal vitamins. Only ten of those items qualify as non-essential/for-fun/clothing purchases which I think is a pretty phenomenal effort at shopping less, and shopping local.

3. My efforts across the last year to insist on quality over quantity have helped achieve this, and I think that’s really cool!

4. Last year really helped me shed the majority of my impulse-buying tendencies because I knew we Could Not Afford It, and more often than not I stuck to those guns. Proud of myself for this, as someone who loves A Little Treat.

5. I bought way fewer coffees last year than any other year of my adult life so far, and put a lot of effort into creating an “at home cafe” to scratch the itch of a true coffee shop experience. It’s never quite as good as what I can get at one of Norfolk’s coffee shops, so I also inadvertently ended up shrinking my caffeine consumption to about two cups of coffee per week.

6. Creating a more sustainable/eco-friendly household has also lessened our expenses in many categories. Even though the products themselves tend to be pricier (sometimes), they outlast the mass-produced things. See point no. 2

7. We have worked hard to become less stressed out when discussing finances together, and that is really paying off (pun intended). We sit down together to do the bills, and sharing that task has helped both of us feel in touch with our money/expenses and unified on decision-making when things are tight. Coming from backgrounds that didn’t give us strong financial skills, we are trying to change this together! Proud of us.

Now for the self-critique:

1. Last year I spent money when I felt sad (this is a double downer: it doesn’t help us feel better and we’re out money we probably needed elsewhere). When we were both sad, we did it together! Bonding!

2. I also tend to spend money when I feel ugly. With a body that is sort of chronically in flux (thanks PCOS), a new outfit sometimes felt like it would heal my heart which of course it never did. My good taste and principles always lead me toward high-quality, sustainable fashion. (But even sad, ugly-feeling Rachel knows she can’t afford a $400 barn coat.) However, I made plenty of small purchases trying to ward off the feeling that my body was both too much and not enough, and of course those purchases never fixed a thing.

3. I am particularly susceptible to skincare ads and anything promising to give me way better eyelashes, smaller pores, prettier/fuller lips, or deeper nail-beds. At this point I’m pretty good at resisting these dubious claims, but sometimes the idea of “looking like that person if I only buy this $22 lip-gloss” sort of eats my better sense right up.

4. Buying vague, sort-of-fit-me jeans is an exercise in futility. The gapping waistbands, trailing hems, and saggy-baggy crotch are going to be my death. Until I can afford to order multiple sizes/styles/washes from a quality brand and do a full try-on ($$$), I need to be content with non-jeans, or the pairs I already have. Do not buy any more mediocre denim.

5. Likewise, do not buy button-down shirts (some exceptions apply) because they never look the way you’d like them too (i.e. hanging upon your frame from the shoulders). They will hang from your boobs in a sort of gappy circus tent and leave you somehow both uncovered and obscured.

6. Thrifting is affordable except when it’s just an excuse to buy things. Love a good steal. Hate that even this can be a form of over-consumption.

7. To stretch our date night/restaurant budget (they share one, limited tab), we’ve gotta get back to being “water with lemon” people. We love going out with friends but our current budget only allows for this once a month, max. I’d love to have the option to go out a few times and be able to pour into those relationships over the shared discovery of a good meal in a novel place.

I think it’ll be interesting to see what we can do with the things we are learning at the end of the month. We’re setting a fresh budget for 2025 and also have some pretty big categories we are saving for, like fertility treatments, a sturdy emergency fund, and some house improvements/repairs. We want to be faithful givers, and generous too. We want to live below our means. Ideally, I’d love to get to a place where I’m able to sponsor someone else’s coffee during their no-spend month, or DoorDash a meal to my friend’s house when she’s going through a breakup. We are social people and we do love a restaurant with friends, or excellent, high-quality dinners at home alone and with guests. I love having coffee with my mom, or a friend at a cafe, I just do. I value that connection time, the place, and the atmosphere. I think our food budget will always be higher than other peoples’ and that’s okay. We can plan for that.

Armed with the knowledge of what matters to us, we can then choose wisely how to shrink our spending in other ways to match the goals. Of course more income would help, but I also believe in being able to do a little bit of what you love by clever maneuvering and a bit of patience.

I guess what we’re really learning is to set aside the urgency. The list of things we are not buying this month might include some things we will want to buy next month, and making those purchases at that point will be at thoughtful and premeditated choice. I have wished for an immersion “stick” blender for at least a year, and each time I think about buying one I tell myself, “you’re doing fine without it.” The urgency has left me. It would make certain things easier, but I know I’ll have one someday. For now, my regular blender works fine. I unsubscribe from marketing emails, swipe away from marketing ads on social media. When the urgency leaves, so does the overconsumption. That’s what I’m getting out of this challenge. I’m looking forward to seeing what else we’ll get to learn the rest of this month. In the meantime, the giftcards/rewards points/sponsored coffees are a beautiful oasis in a spartan landscape.

What about you? Are you making any financial efforts this year? Tell me all about it!

Love,

Rachel