Conjuring Christmas Spirit
a list of things to try
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Christmas comes every year and while I love it, admittedly there have been some years that lack a little of the old magic. If you are feeling that way this year, never fear! This Substack is here to help. You don’t have to feel merry and bright - it isn’t a requirement - but if you want to feel merry and bright and are just having a hard time conjuring it, you’re in the right place. In no particular order the things that I like to do to conjure extra Christmas spirit during this season are as follows:
Put my phone far away from me, pretend the internet doesn’t exist (apart from streaming services) and watch a childhood Christmas movie favorite. Our most recent watch has been A Muppet Christmas Carol. That Ghost of Christmas Present is the Ghost upon which I have judged all further Ghosts of Christmases Present throughout my life. It’s still the best one.
Bake a batch of cookies for a neighbor or friend. This one sounds cliché but is really rather nice. I think it’s the coziness of handing off something you took time and effort to make, the fact that nobody actually expects handmade things anymore, and the fact that you feel like you’ve now bought into your neighbor’s good graces for another year and they won’t be mad if you accidentally park too close to their car one day because, “Oh yeah, she’s the girl who made those madly good chocolate chip shortbread cookies. We like her.”
Sing Christmas carols with friends (we don’t sing them very often anymore and it’s a crying shame)
Try to do “Angels We Have Heard On High” - including the “glorias” - in one breath; a Heffington family tradition that Andrew does not understand, but glibly participates in
Snuggle under a blanket and listen all the way through Ingrid Michaelson’s Christmas album (preferably on vinyl, but streaming it is fine) and sniffle wistfully over “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”
Head to a fancy hotel to absorb chic Christmas vibes and drink a cup of coffee at the bar while pretending I am Eloise at the Plaza. (My choice is the Cavalier Hotel)
Water your Christmas tree and feel the branches for loose needles. There won’t be a ton of loose needles but this is a very soothing and sensory motion and it’s nice because it also smells like an alpine forest.
Seek out a free holiday concert and wear festive colors and marvel at the fact that all these individual instrumentalists have come together to create this one beautiful, soothing sound. It’s like magic, but more common. There is nothing like live music. Fight me.
Find a really dark outside space and light a candle, or a fire, and admire the way the flame flares out against the black, and your nose gets really cold and the glow looks really warm. Light pushing away the dark. Let it feel spiritual. It is.
Make a cup of hot cocoa from scratch. Add a marshmallow if you’re feeling expansive. Sit down and notice how nice the warm mug feels in your palms.
Go to a Christmas service - I am very Protestant but I do love experiencing a sort of High Church Christmas-y service. One year I went with a friend of mine to a holiday pipe organ recital at an historic church in Williamsburg - deafening. Another year (during Covid) we caroled outside an Episcopal Church in Norfolk and there were exactly seven of us gathered in shy knots on the concrete and we showed up and sang songs for a few minutes and then just as shyly disbanded and it was so weird and anticlimactic but also kind of holy, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.
Seek out the children’s section of your local library or bookstore and read some children’s Christmas, winter, and other holiday-themed books. There are so many beautiful ones, and they do a really good job of capturing that wonder and joy we felt during childhood - after all, they’re for kids who haven’t lost an ounce of it yet! Bonus points if you then pick out one of these books to bring to a kid you know and share it with them.
Be a secret gift-giver! One of my favorite things we did as kids as something my parents called “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. Each year we’d pick one usually kind of surly (which meant ‘in need of some love”) neighbor and for twelve days leading up to Christmas my mom would prepare a small gift and note for that neighbor which we would wait till dusk to sort of Ding Dong Ditch at their door, sneaking through the back alleys of our townhouse neighborhood and dressing in festive disguises so as to (hopefully) not be recognized. We got super into this, and it remains one of my favorite Christmas traditions from that period of my childhood. We didn’t have a lot back then, but my parents prioritized teaching us the joy of giving secretly to others, particularly to others who were harder to love well. My sister has continued this at her workplace, often selecting the grouchiest coworker to bless in those few weeks leading up to Christmas. It is an ace up the sleeve when it comes to conjuring Christmas Spirit.
Make a paper chain with a child (or for yourself!) to help count down to Christmas. There is nothing like anticipation to amplify delight!
Create a playlist of your favorite Christmas music. Could be super random renditions of classics, could be one album plus a couple added songs. Play this while you drive around town and enjoy the songs that bring you joy.
Make a tacky Christmas craft. My friend Rhea has a fun tradition: each year she and her husband pick a random tacky Christmas ornament or craft out of a 90’s craft book and make it to add to their collection. I love this idea because sometimes what we need isn’t to create something good as much as it is to just create. Making something ugly on purpose can actually be really cathartic, as it releases you from any ideas of perfectionism.
Learn about Christmas customs from around the world - sometimes hearing about the way someone else celebrates a holiday helps shake up your worldview like a snow-globe and restores the wonder.
On that note, find a snow-globe (thrift store? Christmas shop?) and spend time playing with it, noticing how the fake snow drifts through the water, twisting up the music-box key to play its song if it has one. There is something so soothing and gentle about snow-globes and the tiny, self-contained world inside that sphere. You don’t have to buy the snow-globe, just look at it. You’ll feel a little better, I promise.
Indulge in random acts of kindness. While these are excellent to participate in all year round, Christmas is a longstanding time of generosity and care for others, in celebration of the generosity and care of God sending His son as a tiny baby to rescue us. From the underprivileged to the overworked, find a few people who could use a bit of extra kindness and do something small (or large) and wonderful for them.
Make a simmer pot on the stove! Sometimes you just want to smell Christmas! I like to put a big pot of water on the stove and to this add cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, a sliced up orange, some slices of apple, a couple bay leaves, a vanilla bean, and crushed juniper berries. Simmer it on low on the back of your stove and witness your house come to life with a holiday aroma worthy of a Yankee Candle shop, minus the toxic chemicals and headache from the fragrances.
Go through your belongings and choose nice things to donate. Because Christmas is a time of gift giving, it’s also a time of receiving. Many of us already have too many things, and sometimes we hold on to things because we are afraid to let them go. This is silliness, and a shrinking-pie mentality. When I get to this point I like to ask myself what blessing my with-holding could be keeping others from. When possible, donate your items to local thrift stores (rather than Goodwill and Salvation Army), women’s shelters, homeless shelters, etc. Choose things that are in good quality, that have . Not only will your home get a refresh, but you will be tangibly providing useful items for your community.
Wear slippers in the house.
Put on the Netflix fireplace, turn your phone off, and read a physical book
Listen to the short Christmas story, “The Great Carp Ferdinand” by Eva Ibbotson, on the John Sandoe Books podcast. It is funny, odd, absolutely random, and might become a tradition. (This is my second year listening to it, after it released last year)
Make homemade pomanders out of clementines or naval oranges pricked all over and stuffed with whole cloves. They’re pretty, and smell nice.
Drink peppermint tea - try to go through a whole box during the season. It is an herbal tea and therefore contributes to staying hydrated (also important!) and terribly seasonal. There are many types but honestly, good old Celestial Seasonings works for me!
Put on Christmas big-band style music while cleaning the house - for these purposes I love Harry Connick Jr. or a recent find of Cody Fry’s Christmas E.P.
I hope that these ideas are helpful to you and can help you strike a match and light the tinder of your Christmas Spirit! We love an occasion to celebrate over here and sometimes that requires setting the tone with some clever maneuvering of intentional practices like these. Let me know what you’d add to this list. Suggestions are always welcome and enjoyed.
Love your ruminations! A caroling party that I organized in my early 20's is recollected fondly by my sister-in-law, Beverley aka Sugar Jean. We went house to house singing followed by refreshments in a nicely decorated home. Tomorrow night our church, St. Cloud First United Methodist Church, will enjoy a monthly fellowship dinner followed by a Christmas carol sing along. Christmas Eve Bobby and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary as we have most Christmas Eves, attending church services. I bought a lovely full length gown in midnight blue and a new Ralph Lauren suit for Bobby in matching blue. Macy's always has the right clothes for him. He hasn't had a new suit since he retired from work, 2010. It always feels good to have new clothes. I'd like to find a festive place to have a creme brulee and glass of champagne. I may be stretching it there. Our photographer moved to Georgia. He'll let us know when he next visits. He's the only one who has created the correct lighting for this black man and white woman.... Cioppino is a Heffington family tradition for New Years. I doubt that Roger remembers that. Another Italian recipe along with the chocolate covered prunes and biscotti that commemorated the holidays. Cioppino is an Italian fish soup created at San Francisco's fisherman's wharf. Cioppino, warm sourdough bread and real butter is heaven in a mouthful. Dungeness crab is an essential ingredient, along with clams, white fish and other fish as desired. I like scallops. Muscles can be substituted for clams, salmon for white fish. I've ordered dungeness crab, (frozen I'm sorry to say, but it's dungeness), from publix supermarket. I'm not sure when I'll cook it, but it will be within the holidays....Being that this is a red letter year I may also make Bobby's family holiday dish, Gumbo. In their tradition, dungeness crab is also required. We rely on our 3rd copy of Justin Wilson's Louisiana cooking for our gumbo recipe. Well obviously you prompted holiday reminiscing in me. Thank-you and it's true that some years require a little more prompting of the Christmas spirit. Thank-you for your loving list. I love your family tradition of showing love to one who may not be so easy to love! Blessings always my dear. Aunt Pam